• _____   continually criticizes you, calls you names or shouts at you
• _____   you are always "walking on eggshells" never knowing when he/she will explode
• _____   humiliates you in public or private
• _____   isolates you from family and friends
• _____   constantly checks up on you, calls you and needs to know your whereabouts (listens to phone calls, checks the mail, goes through your purse, checks car mileage, etc.)
• _____   makes all financial decisions; does not allow you to have a bank account, credit cards, or any financial assets; monitors your spending
• _____   does not allow you to work or causes you to lose your job
• _____   gets angry if meals or housework are not done to his/her liking; you feel like you can never do things “good enough”
• _____   extremely jealous and accuses you of cheating whenever you leave the house
• _____   you are afraid to discuss certain topics unless he/she is in a good mood
• _____   your activities, needs, and wants are viewed as unimportant or trivial
• _____   feels you dress too provocatively and wear too much makeup; controls your wardrobe
• _____   threatens to leave you; tells you no one else would want you or love you
• _____   you feel like you always have to get permission first to do things or see people
• _____   forces you to do things that make you feel ashamed
• _____   makes you feel worthless and helpless
• _____   turns the children against you; calls you names and humiliates you in front of them
• _____   treats the children more nicely than usual when angry at you
• _____   withholds approval, appreciation, or affection
• _____   ridicules your beliefs, religion, race, or gender
• _____   threatens to injure or kill your pet(s)
• _____   threatens to hurt/kill someone you love or commit suicide if you leave

copyright © January 2008 Diane Stelling